He Who Loses His Life Shall Gain It
December 5th 1966
It has been said that no greater thing can a man do than to lay down his life for his friend. And so many that hear these words think in their hearts that the only way in which one can give up one's life is to pass hence, to pass from the Earth.
But this is not so. For indeed, as you know, there are times when the true seeker would gladly give up his so-called life. There must be times during this search when one feels that life, especially life upon the Earth plane is no longer a gift but a burden. Because there must be times when the psychic impact from all other forces around you, from the thoughts impinging on your mind from others, from the wrong thinking and misunderstanding, there must be times when this impact is so awful, so full of awe, that one would gladly lie down and die.
Oh no, beloved, just giving up one's Earthly life, to one of understanding would mean nothing. It would at times be a relief and a joy. It is only the little children playing on the beach or in the garden of the Earth world, who crave for the Earth life. Only those who have not, or cannot face up to their responsibilities, who seek nothing but life on the so-called surface, that think this world this Earth world is a playground, joy, a place of happiness, and this in itself proves to us that the joy of the Spirit has not been made their own. Even though they belong to a religious sect or the so-called church. If they are everlastingly on this joyful, happy, vibration, it denotes but one thing that the Father has not entrusted them with a true desire to seek. This one has not been allowed as yet, free range. although they think they are free, and that their Spirit is free, and that they have found the Christ, even in this case, this everlasting joy, this everlasting so-called happiness, is a sign of immaturity, is a sign that they have not been given as yet the true responsibility that a father would give to an elder child. All those masters, teachers, sages of old, who have truly arrived at the post, who have truly found the straight and narrow gate, tell you again and again that they have felt long years of dryness, of dissatisfaction, of terrible loneliness, of a strong sense of guilt, of imperfection. In very truth, these are they who have laid down their life for their friends.
Because free will being inevitable, subconsciously, maybe, they have given up their childishness, they have given up their state of being taken care of, by the things of the world. They have put away childish things, and have become spiritually mature. And they have learned through bitter experience, and through long, solitary hours of meditation, of contemplation, through long journeys deep into themselves, they have wrestled with the monsters in their own subconscious, they have fought all desires, all cravings for all Earthly things, they have taken the long, difficult road to self-discernment. And in this dark, silent and secret place they have found the pearl, learned wisdom and understanding, learned in these deep dark depths where love abides. And after this gruelling journey, no-one can remain un-scarred, physically and mentally, something has had to go, something has had to be given up. The price has had to be paid. And then they must struggle back, struggle back and this as you know is very, very difficult, because the place to which they will come is very very different from the place which they left. Because when they return, their eyes, their vision has been opened and they see things in an entirely different way, and because of this deeper vision, this deeper insight, this will cause them a certain amount of physical and mental stress, because THEY CAN SEE REALITY AND TRUTH WHICH IS ALWAYS PAINFUL and always hurts whilst they remain on the Earth vibration.
And so this one who has given up his or her life, and has given up the world and its so-called pleasures, to make this search, this is the one of whom it was said, "He that shall lose his life shall find it."
This is the one who has left everything behind that once meant so much, that once mattered so much. But immediately. the very second that one puts his feet upon this path, it is the beginning of maturity. He is growing up. He is putting away childish things. Hitherto he had looked through a glass darkly, but now, from these great depths, from this secret place, from this treasure store, he labours with his treasure back, and he looks through the mirror at the light and there is no blemish, no distorted reflection, he sees things as they really are. Of course what he sees will not be a happy sight, will not make him feel so-called jubilant. He has gained wisdom. He has given up all desire, has given up all craving to live as others live, to do as others do, to want as others want, but, he must meet all these little children on their own level. For they are finding their own way, and it may be countless centuries as you know time, before this little one on that level or this, will be in the place of the one who has made the search.
But, the time will come when each and every one must reach this place, and surely, you who have travelled this way, can afford, because you know the trials and tribulations in store whether it be sooner or later, you can afford to give all you can for these little children, even as you would get upon your knees, to play what you would call a stupid game in a dark night, to amuse a little child. You would not think it wrong or unseemly to play with a two year old child, with the stone, the marbles, the baubles the tinsel, You would allow yourself to become one with the child. You understand?
And the same thing is happening to you both all the time. These things are painful because they no longer interest you, you can see behind, and this causes the anxiety and the pain. But you know the cause and you must learn to throw it off, as we have told you so many times. Do what you can, where you can, where you find yourself.
And we would remind you of the words of the Buddha, "Throw a diamond in the mud and it will shine just as brightly."
And the words of Christ, "It is not the man who is whole that needs the physician, but the man that is sick."
And remember there was a deeper meaning behind these words too, "Suffer little children to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
All things start as tiny things. And the spiritual experience starts in a small way too. These children are learning through human affection. Remember the lesser lights in the sky which lead to the greater lights, which lead to the end of the tunnel and the true sunlight of God's holy love.
So go on loving, go on loving on all levels, and wherever you find yourself, give of your best on that level. If you have really given up your life, then you haven't got it to worry about, have you? So why worry about something that you have done away with?
Think of what you have saved, the life that you have saved the life of the eternal spirit.
"He that shall lose his life shall find it" (Matthew 10:39) is given an unexpected reading here: losing one's life doesn't mean dying, but giving up the comfortable childishness of an easy, untroubled faith. The transcript makes a startling reversal — constant, uninterrupted "joy" and "happiness" in one's spiritual life is named not as a sign of arrival but of immaturity, evidence that "the Father has not entrusted them with a true desire to seek”. True maturity, by contrast, is marked by long dryness, loneliness, and guilt — the same territory as "Spiritual Dryness," met a few transcripts back — because it means someone has actually gone down into the depths rather than remaining, however sincerely, on the surface.
Those who make this journey come back changed, and the change itself is costly: seeing "reality and truth, which is always painful”, having laid down illusion the way the "no greater love" saying speaks of laying down one's life. What they find on return is not celebration but responsibility — meeting "all these little children”, those who haven't yet made the same journey, exactly where those children are, with the same patience one might kneel down to play a child's game, however far behind you it now is.
This figure — someone who has suffered their own descent and returns not healed of the cost but able, because of it, to serve others from within their own wound — is close to what Henri Nouwen later called the wounded healer: the idea that the very scars carried back from the depths become the means of helping others still on their way down or up. The transcript closes with two of its plainest, most compressed teachings: the Buddha's "throw a diamond in the mud and it will shine just as brightly”, and Christ's own answer to why he kept company with the compromised rather than the comfortable — "it is not the man who is whole that needs the physician, but the man that is sick”.